skettle.com

Also, try a Minwax lube. @SarahKSilverman: This constant masturbation is losing it’s sheen.

You need to alternate between clockwise and counterclockwise. RT @SarahKSilverman: This constant masturbation is losing it’s sheen.

The difference between an unstoppable killing machine and an un-shtup-able one are subtle, and only relevant in very specific circumstances.

I think the owners of the store called “Not Too Shabby” have lost track of the fact that the phrase still technically means “shabby”.

The year I’m going to host a pumpkin craving contest. The winner is going to have to really, really want it.

You know what sounds sexy when you first hear it, then sounds very unsexy when you stop and think about it? “Exterminatrix.”

My paint-stained pants are distinctive, so I can’t wear them more than once in a row! My laundry schedule is fucked! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!!!