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Giant-Man’s non-union Mexican equivalent is Gargantu-Juan,

Nightshit Trainstorm is my new band name RT @pattonoswalt: If a trainwreck had a nightmare about a shitstorm, that’d be my family Christmas.

A woman outside Target was asking for money for missing kids. That sounds like a scam- if they’re missing, how do they give them the money?

The Scott Pilgrim budget for ringer tees alone has to be more than I make in a year.

I expected more mind-fuckery from Inception.

I rarely wear blue or red underwear. I’m afraid of what might happen if I were gang-raped by crips or bloods.

Goodbye, CSI. I like you, but you’re piling up on my TiVo, and the pressure to watch you is causing me stress.